Learning Patience

I've always said that patience was one of my strong suits. In a sense that's true, but even I falter a bit. I have no one to blame but myself though. It's all this dang internal thought processing I do. So much of my time is spent inside my head thinking, that when real life moments come I jump the gun and push things a little too far. You see, I can talk as big as I want, but when it comes down to it I have many faults. I can tell you that I'm the most patient man I know, that I can handle so much more than people you know, but I'm still not flawless. Even now, I show my true colors. I claim to be mature and able to control my emotions, yet I make this blatantly emo post. Thankfully, my audience is still limited to who I choose :p

So let's get back to the vague truth!!! (well, not so vague as I chose to hide my blog before I finished this post >.>)

Let's say that the most enjoyable thing for me is talking to another human being. This is very truthful. The trick is that my preferred audience is female. What makes this very tricky is that whenever it's you another female tensions arise after time. This is where the patience comes in. Needless to say, it doesn't always end up in either a relationship or a failure (thank you for proving my point Chelsea). But the simple part of this friendship is what I desire the most. You see, when you go from being close friends with someone to having more of a relationship, there's so much tension, so much of a need to perform. It's like all of the sudden you have to form the relationship into something more serious, something more geared towards marriage. I hate this. Is friendship not enough? Can't we just stay like this a while? I don't want to push things, I want them to stay where they are. Sometimes I just get ahead of myself. But my words are true. I'm not ready to date. My past isn't keeping me from it, my future is. I don't want to ruin a good thing just to say I have a girlfriend. I want a friend. I want a good friend. Someone I can talk to, trust, spend time with. No need for physical contact, no need to worry about all the pressures of a relationship. Do we hold hands? Do we just hug? When can we kiss? Are we going to get married? What will our life be like if we get married? I'm not ready for those questions. I have a friend, and I need nothing more. So, don't stress, that's not what I'm pushing you into ;)