The Internet Age

Our generation is faced with an interesting issue. With the creation of more and more technology, society as a whole seems to be slumping into somewhat of a mess. I'm encountering more and more situations where people are being obnoxiously and unnecessarily rude. But what exactly does this have to do with the advancement of technology? The internet gives us something society has never had before. It is now almost completely possibly to deal with most of your issues in life indirectly. In fact, most of life is completed in an indirect manner. With facebook and other social networks, people are keeping in touch less and less in person. Why meet someone for lunch when you can just send them messages over facebook or text? Why call someone or have a meeting when you can just send an email? Technology is reducing the need to speak to other people directly. SO how does this translate to the breakdown of common manners? Being able to indirectly deal with issues just. . . . . causes problems. I don't know, it's hard to explain. Let's say I have beef with you. If I'm staring at you face to face (Depending on how big and bulky your muscles are, or depending on how beautiful of a woman you are) I'm not particularly inclined to yell your face off and rant and rave because of the consequences afterwards. Redo the situation but I'm talking to you over a text or on facebook. It's sooooooooooooooooooooo much easier to flip your lid and say all soerts of crazy stuff when you don't have to deal with the person directly. I don't have to deal with you punching me in my face or running off crying saying you hate me and that you never wanna see me again, because even if you do that I don't have to see it, so it's not my issue. I could care less. So reversing a bit. I guess my desire to bring this up comes from an increased amount of volatile situations I've been in. Even just in the last week! Maybe it's the new job. New pharmacy, to type of work, different situations. But I've been here 7 months and things just seem. . . . worse. Not with the job, just with a few of the people that come in. People seem unreasonable. And If I don't bend over backwards to give them exactly what they want, regardless of the very clear law on my side (not to mention, common sense) it doesn't matter what I think. I should drop everything and just do what they want. Maybe it's because I hate confrontation that things like this throw me into a fit? I am beginning to realize that I really do hate confrontation. I seem to think that I can breeze through life on a smile and just say things in a nice manner and that no one ever has any reason to get mad at me. Well, technically in these last few specific situations there was no reason to get mad at me anyways, I just happened to be the unfortunate one on the end of a phone. But is you're out of your medicine, you have no way to make it to me before our pharmacy closes, and you refuse to have your prescription transferred to another pharmacy, there really is nothing I can do for you. Had you called me about 3 days ago, then we're in a different situation. So is it my fault that you failed to realize that this would be an issue a few days ago? Is it my job to keep track of your medicine? In addition to dealing with things indirectly, we're always passing the blame onto someone else. No one wants to be to blame. That's understandable. It's never fun to be the cause of an issue. But there's a line. When you're to blame, fess up. Get over it. Mistakes are made, on my part and on yours. But to assume that there's no way you're wrong so that it must be my fault? Grow up. You can make mistakes. You will make more mistakes. That's life honey-boo-boo-child. I think I'm staying from my point. I'm only 25. So I don't know how much credit I have to say "Things never used to be like this back in my day." And like I said before, I don't know, it may just be the new job. It may be a full moon and everyone's just crazy (even though I don't believe in superstition.) But it seems like I'm confronted with more and more issues of difficult people. Granted, I work in a cancer facility. These people aren't exactly on a cakewalk. But all joking aside, we're all facing our own mortality, some sooner than others. So, because you're having a bad day you're allowed to walk on me? I'm not being rude here, because I'm not treating you improperly or unjustly. And I repeat, I'm not being mean or unkind to you and I don't mean any disrespect. I treat all individuals with kindness and compassion (At work at least. Some family members and close friends could tell you I definitely have the capacity to be mean, as we all do) so please do not tell me that I'm being unfair to you. If you call a grocery store and say "I need you to deliver my food to me. I can't make it there before you close today." what do you think is going to happen? If you tell a electronics store and say "That other store sells this TV for $699.99, I'm not gonna pay $750.00 for yours." what do you think they're gonna tell you? If you go to a fast food restaurant, finish eating your hamburger and say "I didn't like it. Give me a refund." what do you think they're gonna do? There are rules of life and living that we all have to abide by them. You do not get special rules. Neither do I. What makes you so special? Which brings me to my next point! (I know, this is a long rant.) Entitlement. This is more an issue that I see in the WoW universe, but it all oozes over into society as a whole. People seem to have this sense that if they complain enough then everything will be given to them. When did this all start? Random side note, I was watching a Mystery Science Theater Three Thousand earlier today and it was a reeeeeally old movie that had a promo video in front of the real movie. The promo video was about this little kid who wanted more money for his allowance because he wanted to buy all these cool toys. This kid didn't do a lot of his chores, but still felt entitled to more money. So the narrator took this kid on a journey of what his parents do while he slacks off. They wash his clothes, his dad works to make money, his mom cleans his room, all this jazz. At the end the child realizes "The family is like a team! I need to do everything I can to help mom and dad out because they already do so much for me." And he begins to to more chores and takes on more work to help mom and dad. Great morals right! Even though the video came across as slightly brainwashing, at least it's teaching good and helpful morals >.< I mean, what harm can come from helping others? Anywho, rant over. I think my mind will let me sleep now.

A Slight Return

I was faced with a conundrum today at work. What is better? To remain a child, or to be an adult?

I thought about this for a while and thought that it truly was a difficult thing to decide. After some thinking, I decided that it was worth my age-old method of blogging. Just felt right. So here goes.

Pros and cons! That's what it all boils down to, right? We take the good, weigh it against the bad, and whichever options has the most of the best, that's what we choose. Now, I know you think "David, this is silly, one day you HAVE to be an adult, so this choice is technically moot." Not true, I say. Although, I do use the term "child" fairly loosely. I just mean more about the responsibilities that adults have vs kids. Kids have such fun, no worries Adults have so much freedom, but so much responsibility. So I don't know. I've always thought of myself as a fairly childish person in terms of my actual age. I may be 24, but I act around 21, sometimes not even that. But sometimes I get frustrated by certain responsibilities required of me as an adult. I just want the freedom to live, to choose, and to do as I see fit. But then again, that's the part I like most about being an adult. To have the freedom to do as I please. To be the boss and say "This is what I'm doing today, suck it." So I guess when it really boils down to it, adult or child, I just want my freedom. I want control. I know it sounds, childish to want that, but I don't think it is. It's an inherit part of our lives as humans to make our way in life, and how can we do that if we don't take charge?

Ed

It's been a while since I've had alcohol. I'd say I'm not sure why but I kinda know. I only drink when I'm happy for one (not to say that I haven't been happy, but it's still a factor), and I've had real problems with acid reflux recently and I'm trying to keep my throat for as many years as I can :p Anywho, tonight is a good night and it deserves the celebration. Did anything happen? No. Has my life changed in some drastic way? Not really. You see, I'm a fan of New Years resolutions, and after much deliberation I've decided what this years will be. To love life to it's fullest. It's hard to say how or why, but I've really fallen from where I was last year in terms of happiness. I want that back. I've already made some incredible strides so far. So here I am, drinking my amaretto sour, listening to the Avett Brothers, looking forward to tomorrow. Because while today is an awesome day, Tomorrow is another chance to be equally awesome or even better. I love my life, my friends, my family, everything.

Love

Love is something I feel called to. When I read through the Bible, love is what I see everywhere. I see love as the ultimate goal God calls us to. We're to love our neighbor as ourself. The ultimate commandment. So love is what I need to work on more. Last year I had it down to an art, but I kinda fell. I want to love everyone. I want everyone to know I love them. This is my focus right now.

Progression/Regression

I love my friends. I love people. I think it's a character trait I took away from Kait and Lauren. Roughly a year ago their mentality on life was something that was a huge part of my life. It's kinda become integrated into my own mind. Learning to enjoy my friends, who they are and hanging out with them. I mean, there's always that desire for a relationship, but my friends are enough for me to survive for now, and I never want to leave them even if a girl comes into the picture.

On a normal note. I love this chair. It feels like it's a part of me. I like to come here to think. Sit down, turn on the music, write a bit. Very relaxing. Mellow. Even at this point the worries in my heart written about at the beginning of this post have slipped away from my mind. The issue is still there, but I'm not so worried about it. What happens happens. God's in control of my life, and He has a plan for me. So long as I follow His will and stay in the path He set for me everything will fall into place according to His plan. Of that, I'm sure.

We're I An Abuser Of Drugs, Or An Alcoholic

This is probably where I'd call in "sick" to work, take off of school for a day or two or something like that. I feel abnormally tired right now. Granted, I could probably blame it on staying up too late talking to people but I'd rather do that than sleep. So I guess I'm really the one to blame regardless. It just feels like I'm getting to apathetic, which is something I try to avoid like the plague. Even now as I'm writing this, I've been invited to eat with some friends I'd really like to see, but part of me is telling me to avoid them and to just stay home instead. There's no logical reason for me to stay here. To be honest, I would truly rather be out with them, so what's trying to hold me back? It's the same with homework and chores. Procrastination is trying to creep back in and I'm not about to let it. I just wanna know what happened to all that energy I had in the fall??? I mean, I was living off of like 5 hours of sleep every night, rocking hard all day, and I never got tired!! I'm thinking it might be a dietary thing, if it's not too odd to say. You really can get depressed and stuff by eating unhealthy foods. I haven't come real food shopping in a while. Been living off of fast food for close to a month now and I need to stop it. It's expensive and extremely unhealthy. Hecks, that probably is why I had so much energy back then, I was eating a lot better back then. Sadly, I have to wait until Friday to do that because I'm dirt poor right now. But it'll be worth it to keep my body healthy.

On a side note, I don't remember when exactly I switched from being a pessimist to an optimist (Some time during my relationship with Kait, but probably perfected after it ended. Most of my talent, as it so happens, comes from copying her >.<), but recently I've really appreciated that new side of me. I don't really think I could have survived this past year without it. But life looks so good on this side. I look at my poor little brother and I don't know if he'll ever recover from whatever funk he's going through, all because he can't break his pessimistic outlook on life.

Anywho, gotta cut this one a little shorter than I wanted to. I have someone to meet for dinner ^.^

Relient K-Over it
I'll admit to who I am the day I come to understand.
I haven't got a clue, been searching for a few years now
Well if I don't repeat myself then I'll change into someone else
Well I don't quite know who, been searching for a few years now

Learning Patience

I've always said that patience was one of my strong suits. In a sense that's true, but even I falter a bit. I have no one to blame but myself though. It's all this dang internal thought processing I do. So much of my time is spent inside my head thinking, that when real life moments come I jump the gun and push things a little too far. You see, I can talk as big as I want, but when it comes down to it I have many faults. I can tell you that I'm the most patient man I know, that I can handle so much more than people you know, but I'm still not flawless. Even now, I show my true colors. I claim to be mature and able to control my emotions, yet I make this blatantly emo post. Thankfully, my audience is still limited to who I choose :p

So let's get back to the vague truth!!! (well, not so vague as I chose to hide my blog before I finished this post >.>)

Let's say that the most enjoyable thing for me is talking to another human being. This is very truthful. The trick is that my preferred audience is female. What makes this very tricky is that whenever it's you another female tensions arise after time. This is where the patience comes in. Needless to say, it doesn't always end up in either a relationship or a failure (thank you for proving my point Chelsea). But the simple part of this friendship is what I desire the most. You see, when you go from being close friends with someone to having more of a relationship, there's so much tension, so much of a need to perform. It's like all of the sudden you have to form the relationship into something more serious, something more geared towards marriage. I hate this. Is friendship not enough? Can't we just stay like this a while? I don't want to push things, I want them to stay where they are. Sometimes I just get ahead of myself. But my words are true. I'm not ready to date. My past isn't keeping me from it, my future is. I don't want to ruin a good thing just to say I have a girlfriend. I want a friend. I want a good friend. Someone I can talk to, trust, spend time with. No need for physical contact, no need to worry about all the pressures of a relationship. Do we hold hands? Do we just hug? When can we kiss? Are we going to get married? What will our life be like if we get married? I'm not ready for those questions. I have a friend, and I need nothing more. So, don't stress, that's not what I'm pushing you into ;)

This Was A Triumph

Studying people.

I love it, I can't get enough, I can't stop. There's always been something about the complexity of a human being that perplexes me. How can billions of people be so different??? God truly did invent a masterpiece when he created the human mind. No two people are exactly alike. This means that whoever I choose to evaluate, they act differently than anyone I've seen before. As time goes on I can pick out patterns and predict ways people will act to an extent, but to predict someones actions exactly is impossible. To be more precise reading emotions is what I'm best at. Facial expressions, body language, the way people respond to stimuli, that's what I'm best at. Imagine looking at someones face and being able to read it like a book, with every word they speak it's like reading another page of their life. I know, it's very prideful to say so, but I've always known it's my gift from God. The interpretation of spirits is one of the gifts of The Holy Spirit, it's Biblical, people can do it. I know I can do it and I can do it well (not through any skill of my own though, as stated before, it's a gift from God. Nothing I do specifically makes me better or worse at it. My skills are at the discretion of His will). Anywho, to my point. So I study people and I love it. Human interactions are so fascinating!!! Even as I'm typing this I don't think I'm capable of seriously explaining why I love it so much. There's just so much complexity and diversity to be seen in life, relationships in particular. People become who they really are when in a relationship. They shed all fears and show who they really are. My younger brother was recently in a relationship that ended extremely abruptly because the girl had no idea how he really was. Once she saw what he was really like her feelings changed.

I think I'm rambling rather than giving a strong central point. (Give me a break, it's midnight and this cheesecake and Mountain Dew is all that's keeping me up)

I find some people more interesting than others, and it's complicated to explain. There's no centralized reason why I prefer hearing about them over other people, I just find their life more interesting. I think it might have something to do with the fact that some people that I find extremely interesting, I'm not satisfied until I know everything about them. All the tiny little facts about their life and how they became the person they are today I want to know in and out. Some call that obsession, I like to think it shows that I care :p

Okay, my mind can't concentrate, I need to stop this before I start confusing myself.